UNUSELESS JAPANESE INVENTIONS

Portable Zebra Crossing
The pedestrians best friend

The tyranny of the automobile makes life increasingly tough for eco-conscious pedestrians, and finding a safe place to cross can result in inconvenient diversions and wasted time. Now the pedestrian can fight back. When you've found the crossing point that best suits you, simply roll out the Portable Zebra Crossing in front of you and cross confidently and in safety at your own pace.
WARNING: On busy roads where there is no break in the oncoming traffic, attempting to roll out the Portable Zebra Crossing can be hazardous.


Portable Stoplight
Puts traffic control in the hands of those that need it most

Children do not always remember how to apply the traffic safety code, and this is an increasing source of anxiety for parents. But now they can relax again- provided they have equipped their children with the Portable Stoplight. The child in charge just switches it on and, regardless of whether he or she remembers to look both ways, a bright red light beams in both directions, halting the oncoming traffic. Despite its authentic design, the portable stoplight only shines red. The danger of carnage resulting from an accidental green light is thus cleverly avoided.



Portable Countryside
If you can't take the country out of the boy, let him carry a bit around town

Big cities mean intimidating, towering skyscrapers and a puzzling maze of subways. Worst of all is the lack of natural sights and smells. Armed with a personal Portable Countryside the simple farm boy or born again naturalist need never feel too urban when weaving their way through the concrete jungle. From now on, the walk to work or school will always be pleasantly scenic and familiar. We recommend using the backstreets whenever possible. Exposure to exhaust fumes will kill your plants.




Gift of the Gab Glasses
A social leg up for the strong silent type

Some people just aren't good at talking, and the problem is that, despite the technological revolution, speech is still the most popular form of communication. If you're shy or silent, don't put yourself at a disadvantage. Our Gift of the Gab Glasses enable even the most tongue-tied talker to give give his audience the impression he's said at least three times as much as he actually has. But that's not all. They also render the listener speechless, making the wearer's conversation seem all the more skilled. Walking around in these can be difficult, and glancing into a mirror downright scary. But it's good to talk.





Portable Armrests
With these in place, life's one big armchair

At the end of a hard day, luxury is a cushy recliner with padded armrests. Dining- chair uprights just done give the same relief. So if fifty percent of that easy feeling is down to laid back arms, give your biceps a break even when walking. With Portable Armrests walking has never felt so good. While your legs take the strain, and your shoulders complain, your arms will be in paradise.

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